Wednesday, 9 August 2006

That's the Question?

People don't listen to themselves speaking. Nor do they listen to you. If they did, they'd have spent their whole lives laughing at themselves. If they've got a sens of humour that is!

It's amazing how nonsensical and unintelligent we are sometimes. I guess it's because no one takes the trouble to think twice before uttering anything. The examples are innumerable so I shall just mention a few here.

A month ago, E and me had a lunch date. After lunch I walked her to the post office. On the way we stopped at a street t-shirt seller's to have a look. While E and me were bargaining, K, a school friend happened to walk by. We hugged and kissed how do you do. I introduced E and K seriously asks me Is she your friend? Yes I solemnly replied.

I was actually thinking, No, I just saw this girl bargaining for a T-shirt, thought I'd help her because I thought she looked cool and asked her her name just in case someone I knew would walk by for me to introduce her.

Now, why did she even have to ask me that huh?

I went to a friend's wedding and met another friend whom I hadn't seen for a while there. We kiss and she says Friend invited you. No, she did not say it, she was asking. I didn't think she was serious so I just smiled.

Yes, because what would I have been doing there in my best attire with a gift for the bride?

We went to watch Invisible Man a couple of years ago. If you've seen it then you'd remember the lift scene where the heroine manages to push Invisible Man down in the fire where he stews. Anyway, everyone knows that Invisible Man is dead at this point. He's finished. Mort. Muerte or whatever. G sitting next to me whispers Is he dead. Am so into the movie I don't answer. I think he's just making a statement. Furious whispers and definitely a question Is he dead? Now Invisible Man is stewing and the heroine looks relieved. G grabs my arm to draw my attention Is he dead??? Am a very mean person so I let him simmer in what he's living as a suspense when the whole cinema knows that Invisible Man is gone to lala land. Is HE DEAD? Am feeling sorry for G who looks like he's going to cry. I wait a bit but now the heroine is out of the building and the rescues are there and the movie is coming to an end. I look at G and say Yes, he's dead G, he's dead. See, the movie has ended. He glares at me and says I know, what do you think I am, stupid?

I raised an eyebrow.

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Adeline said...

Yeah I have this problem sometimes.

I do listen sometimes too. But usually it gets really hard after awhile. I get distracted because sometimes people take advantage I wonder--they thing, "oh good they are listening, I will tell everything!" so then one is rather stuck.

And sometimes invite themselves to give advices and opinions that are just totally unsolicited. And then it is an exercise in "How do I make this person feel that what they just said is important"

I read a quote on a blog, maybe it was even yours, that said "Politeness is choosing which of the thoughts running through your head to speak out loud to the person listening"

It is true.

But I do it too... it is a bad trait, to share things that are boiling over with any warm human nearby. I don't like this characteristic. I would much rather make myself invisible, or even better...a good listener who (cares enough and) doesn't get bored.

And more here...the hard thing is getting brushed off by an authority figure. Sometimes I wish those authority figures would do more than just smile and nod their heads. I wish they had some wisdom in those heads that they would share.

Aulelia said...

co-sign with adeline about authority figures > people who are in a superior position to you at times whether they are your boss or whatever just seem to carry that with them and guard it jealously.

but maybe some people don't listen and want you to repeat it over and over again just to get a rise out of you. i knew a girl who used to do that. she got on my nerves so bad. she said ''stop mumbling'' -- talking isnt mumbling!

Margaret said...

I love the drawing! You have such a rich sense of humor.

ChickyBabe said...

But I don't get it. Is he dead??? One more time for the dummies!

If they did, they'd have spent their whole lives laughing at themselves.
Absolutely! And I can think of some people at work in senior positions who should listen to themselves, just once...

Fitèna said...

Adeline, you're right about people taking advantage! Your getting distracted tells me you're subjected to listening to just-to-fill-the-silence-monologues.
I do hate it when people talk just for the sake of talking!
The uncalled advice problem I got over with because, fortunately, I speak my mind and tell the giver in his/her face that I haven't asked for it. Of course, they think am mean.
I don't know but that quote sounds familiar, I either posted it or read it somewhere. I'll check my quote collection later.

Aulelia (I like your name!)
& Adeline, I have no patience for such authority figures. Patronising attitudes just irk me and I end up wondering how they even got to be where they are!

Aulelia, I have a boss who does that. He'd make me repeat and I used to oblige because i sincerely thought he had a hearing problem. Now when he says "hein" I don't answer the he repeats what i just said asking me whether that's what I said. I just smile.

Margaret, I've just discovered that I can actually draw decent illustrations formy posts! Glad you love it! One has got to have one Margaret: a sense of humour, especially during these times.

ChickyBabe petite coquine! ;-p
Does it make you laugh when they come up with such pearls?
We have a guy here who presides our monthly casual discussions (on a given theme), he starts every sentence by saying or donc. I don't know what got into me last month but when started talking I said it with him or donc! Everybody laughed, I was mortified. The poor chap didn't get it!


ChickyBabe said...

You're more of a coquine than I am by the sounds of it! ;). We call people like you a stirrer! :P

waz said...

hi Fitena,
this reminded me of one of my blog entry earlier this yr...see ze amidst us
it's about one of my singaporean mate who has had similar experiences and have been sharing them with us...n it's also about the soccer world cup (kinda)
ya, it can be hilarious at times but after a while it get's tiring...but i guess, at times, even though we are aware of it, we do end up speaking without much of a thought as to what is being said - habits die hard; especially bad ones! :D

darlin nikki said...

There are a couple of people at in the office I work at that if you say anything more than hello, they will talk at you for seriously 10 minutes. About anything! They will have an opinion on it! I should get your illustration tattooed on my forehead and just point next time they try to corner me ;)

Adeline said...

When I am prattling on too long to my husband he does that "Huh?" thing with me. I guess you could call that a button with me.

My mom, when I tell her anything (I avoid telling her things now, but some things are things I must communicate for family sake) and she decides that she will tell me how to handle it. I am thinking "I don't remember asking her what I should do...?"

And I have a problem with older male authority figures. They live on another planet from me. Awhile ago I decided to keep my head down and just keep hush around them, because I don't want to get pissed off by their patronising me or misunderstanding me--those seems to be the only two responses I ever get, regardless of the validity of my point or how I bring it up.

Fitèna said...

Waz, I read the post you mention and its exactly what I mean! And you're right about the habits dying hard!

Chickybae, guess what, I read the comment, reread it and again and wonder why am I being called a stripper! lol! It took me one more rereading to realise its stirrer! So what's a stirrer!? ;-p

nikki, go ahead and do that!
What do you think if you started avoiding them?
I think this is the reason why shrinks are so popular, you pay them but at least they hear you out. Not that many people genuinely have problems wchich necessitate their expertise!

Adeline, at least you get the message when he says "huh"! I've tried some tricks with some people like looking at my watch indiscretely, looking around to signify boredom and I even yawned! But nothing to be done!


waz said...

so u r a striper now, huh?!?! :P

Jaimie said...

Ha! I have little tolerance for silly questions as well. But then again, I am a kindergarten teacher and am asked questions ALL DAY, so from adults, I'm a bit impatient.

Karen Little said...

aHAAAA! That's hilarious! You're right - people say the most retarded things all all the time. It's like they'd rather fill up a silence with something incredibly stupid than nothing at all.

Fitèna said...

Waz, who? me!? Wait a minute, did you read stirrer as Stripper too?!

Jaimie, I love kids and am sure the questions don't sound silly coming from children! Do they?

Karen Little, I think that people try to fill silence like you say especially whe they're not at ease with the people they're with. There are people with whom you can just sit hours feelng no need to talk!