Friday, 10 November 2006

Lonely # 2

When He opened his eyes and looked around his dark room He realised he'd overslept. He wondered why the room was still so dark and realised that its been a while that he'd pulled the curtains. He made his way to the window and hesitated to pull the curtain away. When He finally did, He waited a moment before getting nearer to the window. He slowly opened it and looked out. The streets were swarming with people. He wondered whether some of them felt the way He did.

Making his way to the bathroom He thought about how nothing had happened at the window and how that might mean that today might be better than yesterday. He got ready to work entertaining himself with that thought instead of the late dread of facing every new day.

In the lift his old neighbour gave Him a toothless smile and said “good morning”! Mumbling a reply He wondered whether it was a statement or a question.

He'd made up his mind the night before to seek professional help or speak to someone about how He'd been feeling lately. He'd felt a little bit better afterwards.

He knew that no one else but him could clearly evaluate his emotional state. No one but him could know what He needed to feel better. And hearing himself talking about his late feelings, sentiments and fears would help. He remembered how his mum used to say that one should keep one's worries to themselves. Why? He'd asked. Because people have nothing better to do then than interrupt you and tell you about their worries. That made him smile. His own smile surprised him. The old lady smiled too. Probably thinking that the smile was meant for her.

Stepping out of the lift she waved and He waved back.

A little boy stepped in. Hi, He said. Hi said the little boy looking up and down quickly. His two front teeth were missing. He smiled again. The smile was meant for His reflection.

Stepping out of the lift, He waved at the little boy.
"Good morning" had been a statement after all.

"Inside myself is a place where I live alone and that's where you renew your springs that never dry up." Pearl Buck

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Anonymous said...

mane! have you been depressed before!?! coz zat's exactly how i've felt last year! you r good!

about not being able to picture me as a sociopath: i must be hiding it well! :P

Winters said...

Another poignant portrait. You could be writing about many people I know very well.

ChickyBabe said...

Very vivid, Fitena. I wonder where this is leading...

Fitèna said...

Waz, I really don't know because it sounds like depression takes many forms but if I have, it didn't last long! Hope you're feeling much better now.
I guess you are! :-)

Winters, I could be writing about many people I know!

CB, Thank you! There was really no plan. I wrote #1 and added the #1 as an afterthought, the #2 came naturally. Am thinking over #3.