Wednesday, 24 October 2007

English v/s French

French language is said to be very complicated, but what about the English language…
 
French:

1H58 à 2H02 = une heure cinquante-huit à deux heures deux."


English:

 from two to two to two two" 
 
French:

"Trois sorcières regardent trois montres Swatch. Quelle sorcière regarde quelle montre Swatch ?"


 English:

"Three witches watch three Swatch watches. Which witch watch which Swatch watch??
 
 
End this one is for the specialists... 
 
French:

"Trois sorcières suédoises et transsexuelles regardent les boutons de trois montres Swatch suisses. Quelle sorcière suédoise transsexuelle regarde quel bouton de quelle montre Swatch suisse?"
 
English (sit tight):
"Three Swedish switched witches watch three Swiss Swatch watch switches. Which Swedish switched witch watch which Swiss Swatch watch Switch?"*

*****************

Am flying to Mali on Friday!!!!!!!

Wednesday, 10 October 2007

Taxi and Woro Woro

There are two categories of cabs in Cote d'Ivoire: Taxi and Woro Woro.
A Taxi is a Taxi and a Woro Woro is the Taxi's poor cousin. Woro Woro lit. means Six Six in malinké which is my ethnic group's dialect but since there are around 63 ethnic groups with their own dialects, its fair to assume that Woro Woro means something else too. Because, Six Six just doesn't make sense, right?
When you take a Taxi, you make an "arrangement" or deal with the Taxi driver. Because 1 Taxi of 2 have faulty meters; at your disadvantage. Taxi is more classy, you're alone and enjoy paying for the vacant seats. In a Woro Woro, there is no waste of seats. Like a bus, it slows by you shout your destination and how much you are willing to pay. If its ok, the driver will stop if not, you clear your throat and wait for another one.
I enjoy taking the Woro Woro. To go to work, I normally have to pay around 3500 FCFA daily but with the Woro Woro I pay 1350 FCFA daily. What I do is called "decomposer" or decompose which makes no sense if I don't explain it to you.
The Taxi would take me straight from point A to point D but with a Woro Woro, I move from point A to point B where I take another Woro Woro to point C and a last one to my destination point D! I this take 3 Woro Woro to work! It's tiring but really worth it!
My first day at work I took a Taxi for work and shot pictures all the way. At one point, I noticed a Taxi driver on our right signalling. Before I could ask my driver what he was saying, screamed at the other driver "where do you know her from you moron?" Surprised I asked him what the other driver had said (I thought maybe he'd lacked me respect) and my driver told me that the other driver wanted me to shoot him.
Yesterday, when I took the Woro Woro back home, the driver and the front seat occupant where engaged in some sort of debate. By the time I reached my terminus, I learned that God said in the Bible that the people living in Marcory are never going to be rich. I live in Marcory.

Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Wednesday, 19 September 2007

The Look!!!!

I'd been thinking about bringing some change to my template for a while and finally brought myself to work on it yesterday!
Your views on the new Look!

Tuesday, 11 September 2007

Le Retour # 2

The flight from Mauritius to Dubai was tiring, the food was awful and the movies were so boring my swollen feet went to sleep. After 6 hours and a half, we landed in Dubai. We managed not to get lost in the huge airport and reached our connecting flight gate safely. An hour later we boarded for Abidjan via Accra.
It was the same company so we had the same awful food and bring movies to Accra. The passengers disembarked and we welcomed the new crew. They were nice and smiled a lot. We flew towards Abidjan. We could not wait to land. We all set our screens to the below view camera to take it all in. Since the class was almost empty we all took widow seats. After a while my siblings got bored of the view and switched to the boring movies. I (of course) was more patient. After a while, I felt my eyebrows rising. I could imagine my own puzzled expression. 15 minutes later I was sure of it. I signaled the steward and asked him why we were making circles flying around like that? The captain’s voice boomed informing the passengers that due to the bad weather, there will be some delay and that we will be landing soon. The steward gave me a that’s the answer to your question smile. I smiled back. My mum turned around looking for me, I waved and she turned her head away. I could sense that she was worried. My little brother had just translated what the captain said.
Half an hour later, the same green crops could be seen. The captain said that now we were going to land. The flight started its descent. We all had switched our screen to the below view camera and could barely make out anything through the rain. Only the lights told us that we were approaching the ground. Suddenly, just when we’d tensed and thought we were hitting the ground, the plane’s nose went up and we were taking off again. The captain informed us that due to bad visibility caused by the bad weather we couldn’t land. Everything was in control. I heard my mum calling for my sisters to come and take the seats near her. The guy in front of me wasn’t sure and asked his seat neighbor what the captain meant. The seat neighbor explained that it was a decision that the captain had to take in a split second in order not to risk our lives. On the seat across, a fat man had opened is shirt and was rubbing his chest. I thought I wasn’t scared but I realized I was when I heard myself giggling at the sight. My mum called for me. I went and took the seat behind her. There’s something wrong with the plane she said. I assured her that it was nothing of the sort and relayed the captain’s message again and added what I’d heard the seat neighbor saying. My mum said « look at the steward », I asked her what about him. She was worried because the blood had drained from the steward’s face. I looked at him and at his colleagues who had all buckled themselves and were conferring while smiling at us and I must say they got me worried too!
About 20 minutes later, the captain told us that we were now going to land. I thought about the fat man rubbing his chest and it saddened me that he was flying alone. M mum asked us to hold hands. We did. The plane landed smoothly. The passengers clapped. My first thought on Ivorian land was : I want to pee.
Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Tuesday, 21 August 2007

Le Retour # 1

Dear Readers, it's been a while, I know! My last post is dated 17th May 2007... Have I been away that long!? I draft the posts in my head each night before I fall asleep and have no time during the day to post them here... Not that I don't have Internet access! Every 10 meters you have a cybercafé here! And this is no exaggeration!
But first things first so let me tell you about our trip back to Ivory Coast after 14 years in Mauritius!
It was awful. It was sad. It was very very sad. There were tears. Sobs. We hugged. We promised each other we'd keep in touch. We'd write. We'd call. It was so very sad. It lasted a whole month before the final leaving day. My mum's best friend almost fainted. Her son had to drag her away. We were that close. My friends came over. We started to panic as the gifts and souvenirs started pouring. Where would we fit them all? We could not afford to have any excess. But we managed. The goodbyes were long. The day we left the cars where parked from one end to the other end of Avenue des Glaieules. We wanted to leave the house clean but am afraid the landlord must have cursed us the next day! It rained the day we left and there was mud all over the place!
To the airport. We were accompanied by a full van, and 3 full cars. The others were late, and called to say they were outside and sad we were already inside and could not meet. We were sorry too but it was better that way. I had no more tears left and I had a lot on my mind; things to remember, notes to make, the family to handle. At 26, it was the first time we were going anywhere without my dad and if it hadn't been for the support of friends, I'd have been completely lost!
An uncle and his wife prepared sandwiches and juices we where supposed to eat, the airport guys wouldn't let us through with the drinks but said that the sandwiches were ok!
We passed through and went to sit surrounded by tourists and other travellers. We munched our sandwiches. Our last taste of Mauritius said my brother. Yes, till next time.


Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Thursday, 17 May 2007

Departure

Driiiiiiiiiiiiig....
Driiiiiiiiiiiiig....
Driiiiiiiiiiiiig....
Driiiiiiiiiiiiig....
You have reached C'est la Vie. Fitena is currently unavailable. She prays you not to think that she's mad at you because she hasn't been visiting. Actually her family and her are preparing their going back home to Côte d'Ivoire after 14 years in Mauritius. That's the reason why she has been missing to visit your great blogs and entertaining posts. She tsays ce n'est qu'un aurevoir. To leave a message, you are requested to wait for the tone and press * She promises to get back to you as soon as it is possible for her to.
Thank you!
Beeeeeppp..
*

Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Tuesday, 17 April 2007

Climate-ology

He: Hello!!!
She: Hi!!!
He: It's been a while! How are you?
She: Am fine! Thank you! And you!?
He: OK!

(Silence)

She: Just look at this weather! Tssst Tssst!
He: Yeah! Sucks! The rain! tsssst tsssst!
She: How come it rains so much? This isn't the raining season!
He: It's the pollution!
She: Huh?
He: Yeah, you know, the "réchauffement de la planéte" and stuff!
She: Oh yeah!
He: But Quatre Bornes sure sucks! It's been raining non-stop!
She: Yeah, the track back there is all muddy!
He: (looks down at her sandals) You aught to wear better shoes!
She: Yeah I guess...

(Silence)

He: You live around here don't you?
She: Yeah, around Sodnac.
He: My mum's family live in Curepipe.
She: hummm
He: Yeah, my aunt called to say that its raining real bad there too. The humidity is unbearable!
She: Yeah, my coucin is married there. She said the same thing.

(Silence)

He: You ever been to UK?
She: No.
He: The weather is much as bad there too...

At this point, I couldn't help it. I had to laugh. Why do people feel the need to talk when they have nothing to say!?

Tags: :.: :.: :.: :.:

Friday, 23 March 2007

A Star!



Isn't she the cutest thing?


Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Thursday, 22 March 2007

Sick

Aulelia's comment made me smile. I've been drafting so many posts in my head but had no receptacle for them. In 3 weeks I went to work 4 or 5 days only. The rest of the time I spent it scratching. What? Oh not Dj'ing! I'll explain.
The heat here is intense. That's because there's much humidity in the atmosphere. It never was a problem apart the discomfort but it seems like I've developed some allergy to humidity now. This is bad, real bad. I can get medication and all but the humidity is still going to be here. Does it mean that I'll just have to bear it and wait till we leave to be well! I hope not! Last week the second doctor I went to see asked me questions on the stress line. Am relieved! He prescribed a battery of blood tests and I shall be getting th results today. Am relieved because if its stress at least that I can do something about!
So I'll spare you the unpretty details but it some sort of angry red rash which is "en relief". It itches like... It itches bad. Some of the medication he gave me is meant to put me to sleep. I clipped my nails. Yesterday my mum caught me rubbing my back against the wall. Yes, it's that bad!
Meanwhile, I have loads of work awaiting my attention and I'll pen off here.
My friend has a great sens of humour, I was supposed to meet someone he knew. When asked how he'd recognise me, my friend's reply was "look for a tall black women scratching herself.
My deepest apologies for making myself scarce on your blogs. I'll make it up!

Tags: :.: :.: :.:

Wednesday, 28 February 2007

Men do come from Mars and Women from Venus

The new house is better is nice. Much more space.
*****

We had a cyclone. Gamede they called it. What sort of name is Gamede anyway?
*****

Yestarday I caught myself laughing and saying "lol! lol! lol" at the same time. Is it bad?
*****

In line with my last post and awaiting the brain to reset to blogging mode, here's a smiley for you. I found in on Joke's.com sometime last year or the year before and had posted on my ex-blog. Enjoy!

Tandem Story: Prof's E-mail Assignment

When differences of student's opinion can lead to galactic rewards...


Remember the book "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus"? Here's a prime example offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: his assignment and a short story turned in by two of his students:


(Professor) "Today we will experiment with a new form called the tandem story. The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As homework tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that paragraph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another paragraph to the story and send it back, also sending another copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be absolutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and anything you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a conclusion has been reached."

(first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the question.

(second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off, a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.

(Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.

(Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty, the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie and 85 million other Americans. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"

(Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvinistic semi-literate adolescent.

(Gary) Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. "Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Oh no, I'm such an air-headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!"

(Rebecca) Jerk.

(Gary) Cry baby.

(Rebecca) YOU NEANDERTHAL!!!

(Gary) Go drink some tea.

(Professor) A+... I really liked this!


Tags: :.: :.: :.: :.:

Monday, 5 February 2007

Men come from... and women....

Fot those of you who've wondered about my absence; we're in the process of moving out. That and the load of work kept me away from blogging. Everything should be getting back to normal by the end of the month.
*********

Savouring a cup of coffee, I asked a new friend how she and her boyfriend met. It was all so very romantic.

We met at work, she told me. He came for an interview, I saw him and it was almost love at first sight. Since I'd been already working there for a while, I insisted and made sure he was in my group. We got to talk, exchanged phone numbers, called each other up incessantly and got to know each other. Like in all relationships, we've had our ups and downs but we're blissfully happy.

This is of course, a summarised version.

A couple of days later I asked the boyfriend the same question. Oh, she saw me and just fell in love he told me. And I didn't even know her and hadn't seen her.

His side of the story wasn't the least bit romantic and lasted less than 3 minutes. I laughed out loud because I was playing her side of the story in my mind the whole time.

She supplied some infomations he left out, he claimed he didn't remember things happening that way. I laughed even more. They tenderly looked at each other and held hands.

Am going to post this I told them, I think they tought I was joking.

Where did the book say Men and Women come from?

Friday, 19 January 2007

Carnival of the Mundane

Does being happy means feeling good? Can one be Happy and not feel good? Would my not laughing at your jokes make me an unhappy person? Or does my laughing all the time is just a front to hide this unhappiness I feel deep inside? I don't know. Do you?


What's happiness anyway? The dictionary does not help because what its definition of happiness does not fit mine, would it fit yours? I don't know. Let's find out.


What makes Claire happy is eating Tacos. Thats what I thought when I read the title of her post. When I read the post I realized it was finally seeing the bear. She even waved to it and said “Hi”. The story doesn't say if it waved back, that would have made me very happy!


Random Yak and I could become best friends if we lived near each other. We'd try to solve some weird traffic movements on each other's blog, and write a book on the subject and maybe even include some pictures to thank those who came in for the nude photos for inspiring us. (There are no nude photos of Yak of course)


Your friend is “your need answered... for you to come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.” Chicky Babe says it even more beautifully here. Just take the hand reaching out for you when its there. Grief needs to be divided and joys multiplied. Two is a very good number.


Aren't we all coming to the conclusion that we can write about Happiness? That every country song doesn't necessarily need to end up with a broken marriage, family, guitar? Why, wouldn't hearing “Marriage Catch” sang by Mad Kane make you merry!?


Why should we need to define it huh? We can't! Each one of us has its own definition of what it is. What it means to Aulelia might not necessarily be what it means to you and so what, let us raise a toast to her 100% pure happiness with pulp! She's happy, right?


*Sigh* Let's all now sit here with Lil Bit and chuuuuut, wait for it....What? The Butterfly of course...




Thursday, 11 January 2007

I am Happy... Lala...

Dear All,

Hope you people had a great time celebrating Christmas and the New Year! I wish you joy, happiness, success and health.

New year was a double celebration since we had La Fête du Tabaski too - commonly called Baqr Eid in Mauritius (litterally Cow Festival).

This and the fatigue of the end of year load of work might explain why I slept sounding through the passage of 2006 to 2007. Even my neighbours mega pétards did not make me stir!

Still taken up with work which explains why I haven't been visiting you and wouldn't have posted this if The Donnage hadn't reminded me that am hosting the Carnival of the Mundane next week!!!!!!

Am counting on all of you people to make this a success! The simple rule is that you write a short story, a poem, a song or whatever and you call it Le Bonheur, Happiness. It might be a piece you've already written and needs to be retrieved for your archive.

I heard that its easier to write about ones miseries and hearbreaks than write about happiness so we'll see...

Email me your blog's name and the url of your entry here.

UPDATE:

Some of you have already sent their submissions; Muchas Gracias! :-)

I forgot to mention that I will be hosting on Friday the 19th of January, so... à vos claviers!

Tags: :.: :.: :.: